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Title: Humor/Useless Pages - 5ives: Merlin's Lists of Five Things Updated periodically.
Terror-o-matic Homeland Alert System parody.

Strange_Brew History of the Luwak coffee.

Construction_Scale_Models Crane model photos and crane photos including Demag CC12600, CC12000, and Liebherr LTM1500.

Rocky_Mountain_Railroad_Travel Rail Tour Packages in West Canada from Vancouver, Calgary, Banff and Jasper.

Caz\'s_Toyota_Page Restoration and modification of Toyota 4x4s. Includes pictures, and helpful hints on maintenance.

World_Play Ambigrams by Cihan Altay in Turkish, translated into English.


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5ives

5ives

Merlin’s Lists of Five Things

Five terrible fake Jane Austen novels

August 19th, 2008 Rash and RationalityPunk and PunctualityBeast and BestialityFunk and FunctionalityFried and Credulous

Five rejected names for Austin BBQ restaurants

August 19th, 2008 The Saltiest JointSuck the BoneUnexpectedly Covered in SauceBar-B-Q*bertTexas Pete’s Rootin’, Tootin’ Pulled Pork ‘n’ Fellatio Funfactory

Five records I wish I could have sung backup on

August 19th, 2008 “You Didn’t Have to Be So Nice” by The Lovin’ Spoonful“Wall of Death” by Richard & Linda Thompson“Rocks Off” by The Rolling Stonesanything by Neil Young & Crazy Horse“The Village Green Preservation Society” by The Kinks

Five occupations whose uniform I think I’d enjoy wearing

August 19th, 2008 barberMUNI driverflight attendantkung-fu masterdeceased fried chicken entrepreneur

Five things that should be issued to every American on his or her 14th birthday

July 19th, 2008 condoms (and instruction on how and when to use/not use them)The Elements of Style by Strunk and Whitephone number of a super-cool, non-panicky adult (who will get you out of the jams your parents must never learn of)Surfer Rosa by PixiesiPod on which to listen to Surfer Rosa at painfully loud volume

Five unusual Top Chef production crew titles

June 9th, 2008 Fauxhawk SharpenerTimpani DramaticizerMolecular Gastronomy Re-explainerFoam ConsultantClog Wrangler

Five poetic phrases culled from Joe McConnell’s Bay Area radio traffic report

June 9th, 2008 slow in pocketsjackknifed big rigbacked-up to the mazeFriday-lightgoat on the shoulder

Five rejected titles for the latest Coldplay record

June 9th, 2008 ¿Perry Cómo Estás?Que Syrah SyrahBicycletarseChili Art CarneyNo Hablamos Español

Five rejected names for a single-serving meal product

April 4th, 2008 Quiet EveningsMe & the KittiesLonesome BitesMonomunchesSingles…for Life!

Five ways to leverage the mobile thinkosphere

March 19th, 2008 blogmobisodeswebmobinarstelestreamanogisodeslividmobipostiscussionsnetconvermomomobomasations

Five “Web 2.0″ ways to break up with your boyfriend

March 18th, 2008 add unflattering Flickr tag, “Fat asshole with a unibrow”change Facebook status to “He’s literally dead to me”web widget counts up days since your last climax (currently: “193″)share Zoho spreadsheet to split up MySpace friendsdecline to participate in Series B round of affection

Five terrible fake astronomical pickup lines

March 13th, 2008 Ever wonder what’s happening under Orion’s belt?Hop in my van, and I’ll show you something else that’s constantly expanding.Was Democritus the first one to postulate your mysterious Milky Way?I’d like to Sagittarius your Pisces, and that’s no Taurus.How about we go outside and discover Uranus?

Five rejected names for “Cooter” on The Dukes of Hazzard

March 6th, 2008 Daniel Poon Mr. StrangeSteve the SleeveSnatch AdamsOl’ Vag

Five fake names I keep waiting for an opportunity to use

March 6th, 2008 Romana ClayRosco GreenKel DomageFanny B. TenderFarrell Katz

Five cues that Robert Plant is ready to have sexual intercourse with you

February 12th, 2008 gently enquires as to where you like to put the turkey basterrepeatedly offers to demonstrate “how Blighty squeezes the lemonade”stands in your front yard, pants-less and swinging a garden hose in lazy figure-eightsmakes rapid “milking a cow” gesture while screaming something incoherent about Robert Johnsondrops his semi-erect penis onto your dessert plate

Five more terrible fake reality TV shows

February 4th, 2008 Are You Smarter Than an Ottoman?Project SegwayWould You Eat This for Money?America’s Next Top PreclearWho Wants to Be a Cultural Footnote?

Five subtle changes in the event that Microsoft acquires Yahoo!

February 1st, 2008 your Flickr.com photos are still your own (although human faces are now obscured by selected partner company logos)owing to unavoidable data corruption, all Upcoming.org events must be reinstalled monthlyfollowing upgrade to Vista, clicking del.icio.us links now requires 1 GB of RAM and 40 GB drive space (per link)Jerry Yang now compelled to “do that funny MC Hammer dance” whenever Ballmer’s meds start wearing offfolksy motto tweaked to “If You Ever Want to See That Pretty Family of Yours Again, You Damned Straight Better Fucking Yahoo!“

Five names you can belch

February 1st, 2008 Frank BlackBob HodgkinsBarack ObamaPonce De LeonJohn Hodgman

Five ways Angelina Jolie can quickly acquire more children

January 31st, 2008 gestate auxiliary sets of twins in climate-controlled Fendi bagsmake Brad build a big-ass gingerbread house explore viability of controversial “dorsal carriage” (a/k/a “butt fetus”)surreptitiously cruise Gymboree with mallet and a sacklay excess eggs in what’s left of Sean Young

Five ways you’re unleashing the power of your blog

January 29th, 2008 tearing the veil away from the morally bankrupt raincheck policy at Marshall’s“crowdsourcing” the naming of your new unicycletaking a symbolic day off from blogging to protest the unjust treatment of “some Oriental dude” you read about on Slashdot daring to name names in the “personal holocaust of customer service” you recently suffered at Fry’sfunny new snapshot of your kitty, “Warrant Officer Ripley,” acting like she’s people « Earlier 5ives Home + Recent 5ives

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